Confessions of a Pastor

We officially unveiled the “Season of Discernment” on Sunday. After much planning and dreaming, our church is poised to spend some intentional time in prayer and discernment.

It’s been an interesting experience organizing this time, especially confirming hosts for these prayer gatherings. A number of people have expressed some discomfort in leading a time of prayer. If you’re one of them, perhaps you’re looking to the pastors for some encouragement and reassurance. Well, I actually have a confession to make…

I don’t feel comfortable leading prayer either.

What? The pastor doesn’t feel comfortable praying???

This was one of my biggest anxieties as I started ministry. I didn’t think I’d make a good pastor because I’m not all that good at praying. When I shared this with my spiritual advisor, I was thankful to hear that nearly every pastor my advisor met with expressed dissatisfaction with their prayer life. (What? Pastors are just like regular people???)

It’s not that I don’t want to pray or that I don’t see why it’s important. It’s that I get lost in the words. I get distracted easily. I don’t know what to say. Basically, I don’t know HOW to pray.

This isn’t uncommon in the Mennonite church. We are a DOING people. There are needs to be met and we’re going to meet them. I like this. But sometimes this DOING comes at the expense of BEING with God. I don’t like this. Add a society of busyness and no wonder most of us aren’t comfortable praying. We don’t allow ourselves much time to pray, let alone develop the skills and practices of praying in different ways.

Our collective discomfort with prayer is precisely why the Season of Discernment is so important. We can stumble along the prayer path together, holding each other up in our uncertainty and spurring each other on in our spiritual formation. I need you to help me pray. Maybe I can help you too. Let’s pray to our God together.